Whee – Me!

Imagine taking home a $1.4 million-dollar paycheck every two weeks. That’s $2.8 million a month (and even more in those glorious months that contain three paydays.) I’d work one year and be done with it – no matter what it is. My biggest challenge would to to resist the urge to retire after working a single month. Sure as I’m sitting here typing nonsense into a blog for free, I could find a way to live the rest of my life comfortably on a nice $2.8 million nest egg.

Talk Is Cheap

What does one have to do to rake in such riches? Develop a cure for breast cancer? Convince Hezbollah and the Israeli Knesset to co-sponsor Woodstock III? Invent an automobile engine that runs on AAA batteries?

Apparently all one has to do is sit before a radio microphone and demonstrate to the nation what an asshole sounds like. Yup. Rush Hudson Limbaugh III has just signed a new eight year contract with Clear Channel Communications that will pay him a total of $400 million. The deal includes a $100 million up-front signing bonus. All this for a man who once referred to 13-year-old Chelsea Clinton as the White House dog.

I can be a mean prick too! Where are my millions?

Clear Channel probably made the deal figuring that Barack Obama will be elected president this fall. Can you imagine the orgy of bitterness, canard, prevarication, not-so-subtly coded racism, and hysteria his show will become? Oh, that’s right – it is already! Right now, Limbaugh attracts some 20 million listeners a week to his daily syndicated three-hour show. I feel confident in guessing there are many more than 20 million lunkheads in this great nation whose penises will shrink upon realization that Obama has become their leader.

Remember when conservatives put this bumper sticker on their cars?

That was when Bill Clinton occupied the White House. You know, Bill Clinton, the centrist, the most moderate of the eight or so aspirants for the 1992 Democratic nomination for president. After his victory that year, the Limbaugh-led right branded him a dirty rotten liberal and helped transform the word into a pejorative.

What will Limbaugh gang say and do if Obama, who, while not exactly Che Guevara but at least more lefty than Bill, becomes the Commander in Chief? I’ll bet the 20 million who listen to Rush every week now will grow to 30 or 40 million! What agit-prop will they display? This?