Whee – Me!

Let’s start the week off with a little digest of recent news in science.

~ Researchers have discovered that human infants and chimpanzees have the instinct to help another in need. It’s proof that altruism is innate within both us and our nearest relatives (no, not my brother Joey; although I have a hard time distinguishing him from a simian.)

A study released by the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology in Germany asserts that toddlers and as well the species that gave us Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp, reflexively reach out to help a human in need.

In these days when our economy is going all to hell and wars are raging here, there, and seemingly everywhere, many people are falling into a rather discouraged mindset. Human beings are worse than beasts, some say. We’re gonna wipe ourselves out, others moan. Maybe. But it’s more likely we won’t because the urge to help others, that sense of altruism, is an inescapable part of our genetic makeup.

You ever hear someone complain about the big city and to illustrate the point, he or she tells an anecdote about how an old lady fell down on the sidewalk on Wabash Avenue and people just stepped right over her? A million times? Well, I’ve spent about a million days on Wabash Avenue and I’ve seen old ladies, middle-aged men, and children kiss the concrete. Never have I seen people step right over these unfortunate souls. In fact, people usually elbow each other out of the way to get to them.

That doesn’t sound like a society that’s going to wipe itself out any time soon.

~ Remember those glorious days back in the 1980s and 90s, when, thanks to popular self-help gurus like Robert Bly and John Bradshaw, we could blame our parents for every shred of guilt, shame, and selfish asshole-iness we detected within ourselves? Thank Zeus those days are over.

But our parents aren’t quite off the hook. Since the Human Genome Project published its complete genetic map in 2003, medical researchers have established that at least 40 diseases have been traced to genetic dispositions, according to a study in this month’s Journal of the American Medical Association.

So don’t let out a sigh of relief just yet, Ma and Dad. You’ve still got a lot to answer for.

~ Yet another huge chunk of the ice shelf in Antartica has fallen into the sea. The collapse of a 160-square-mile piece of the Wilkins Ice Shelf this month and last will adversely affect the population of krill in that area.

Krill are tiny crustaceans that larger sea species like whales feed on. If krill become scarce, more enormous creatures will be, you’ll pardon the pun, in hot water.

Scientists blame the Wilkins and other ice shelf collapses on Global Warming. You know, that thing President George W. Bush and his pals spent years denying. Lots of people still subscribe to the Global Warming-is-a-lie line that even the Bush Administration now has abandoned.

A friend of mine swears her father refuses to watch The Weather Channel because it’s too “liberal.” Why? Says Daddyo: TWC’s meteorologists take this Global Warming nonsense seriously.

Fair enough, Pops. Stick with Fox News.

Anyway, Bush’s ludicrous head-in-the-sand stance on Global Warming probably did more for the environmental movement than a hundred Al Gore movies would have. The Commander-in-Chief’s intransigence on the effect humans have on the air, the water, and the rest, galvanized environmentalists and even lit a match under minivan moms and high school principals.

So, thanks, George. Knucklehead.

~ Just don’t start giving Bushie Boy any awards. His anti-environment policies still hold sway. The Prez could have used his influence to convince American automakers to develop greener cars.

It was as likely he would have attempted to sway Ford, GM, and Chrysler to start making cars that don’t depend on the whims of oil sheiks as it would have been for him to issue an executive order exempting me from income taxes. I’d like him to do both things. He ain’t gonna do either.

So, in keeping with the tone set by our Peerless Leader, California has drastically reduced the number of zero-emission cars that must be sold in that state by 2014.

Automakers are jumping for joy. Environmentalists are not.

George W. Bush, by the way, is still a knucklehead.

~ Two more quickies. I just downloaded Adobe’s new free Photoshop Express. May as well take advantage of it so I can start submitting crop circle pix to the proper authorities. Also, 2008 is NASA’s 50th anniversary. Imagine that! Of those impossibly young and daring pilots who comprised the Mercury Seven, the original astronaut crew, five are gone. The remaining two, John Glenn and Scott Carpenter, are now old men. What does that make me?

Next time,

Big Mike